In the Air Chapter 11
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The bruises on Halsin's neck had not yet faded when new ones replaced them, and those in turn were joined by more elsewhere on his body. Halsin twisted around after a shower to look at the welts Mistress had left on the back of his thighs and his ass with a cane. It hadn't been in anger, and she had rewarded him with pleasure for offering himself up to it.
More important, she had rewarded him with attention. He had let her see that he was afraid of what she would do, and she had brought him to tears, piling pain upon pain until he had broken down. Afterwards, she had been gentle with him, petting and praising him for his devotion.
Halsin didn't like to dwell on how he had behaved. Shedding tears after holding on for as long as he could had left him exhausted but also strangely elated. It had been more of a release than the peak she had brought him to with skilled touches, and it had left behind more shame after it had ebbed away than any time he had spent for her ever had.
He was giving more and more of himself away, and he wasn't sure what was left. Who he even was any more. Would there be a limit to what he was willing to do to live another day? If there was, he hadn't found it yet. Halsin didn't know if he should hope he never would or if that would mean losing himself completely.
Already, he had a hard time remembering the sun and the woods. Reverie still kept it alive for him but that wasn't enough. He missed the scent of rain, the wind on his skin, the rustle of leaves and the calls of birds.
But if he didn't make sure Mistress stayed interested in him, he had no hope of experiencing any of it ever again. So he offered her small pieces of himself, and she devoured them.
Running his fingers over the welts, Halsin grimaced when the pain flare up. He did it again, squeezing hard until the deep bruises were burning under his skin. It stopped his thoughts circling around things he couldn't change, at least for a time.
Mistress was waiting for him on the balcony, sipping her tea. She waved at the chair opposite her to let him know he was allowed to sit. It had a cushion and Halsin was thankful for that, sinking down on it gingerly and wincing anyway when his weight came to rest on his bruises. There was a cup of tea for him, and a plate of cut fruit. Mistress was already finished with hers, but she liked watching Halsin eat. He had gotten used to it. At first he hadn't been able to eat much under her gaze, too self-conscious and embarrassed. The need to eat everything he was given in order to not go hungry had long since won out over any embarrassment. But it still was strange to have her watch him pick up a slice of apple and eat it as if he were doing something exceptional.
"I will be away for the next few days, out of the city. I don't like leaving you on your own, but it cannot be helped. It's a shame you never reminded me about the incense, but not to worry, I will make arrangements." Reaching across the table, Mistress patted Halsin's hand.
"Arrangements?" Halsin could think of any number of things, none of them pleasant. He knew he should have reminded her of her offer to experiment with the incense, but he had allowed it to slip his mind.
"Yes. You will not be caged, and you will not have to wear the plug. I will make sure someone will be taking care of you. When I return, I will very probably too tired to do it myself right away, as much as I want to."
"I would be happy to wait. I know I can do better this time" He did not like the sound of someone to take care of you at all.
"I am sure you can. That is why I will not cage you. But it would not be right to leave you alone. Even if the incense should not affect you, I will feel better knowing that you have company, at least part of the time." She shushed him with a finger to his lips, leaning across the table for a lingering kiss. "Now, finish your breakfast and we will take a walk."
Mistress clearly was unwilling to discuss the matter further, and Halsin abided by her wishes, at least for the remainder of the day. The worry about what kind of arrangements she would make would not let him go, and he made one last attempt in the morning to sway her.
"Please let me wait for you? I would rather not be with anyone else while you are away." Halsin could tell she was ready to get up, after waking and letting him pet her for a while, so he asked her in a low voice, hoping she would hear more devotion than fear in it.
"That is very sweet of you, but I don't think it would be a good idea. I would worry too much, and I cannot afford to be distracted. Trust me to choose well - I will not make the mistake I made with Meryla twice." Mistress turned over on her side to face him, reaching up to brush her finger along his jaw.
"Can't I come with you?"
"No. As much as I would appreciate your company, there is no place for you. It will only be a few days. Before you know it I will be back." Sitting up, Mistress pushed back the covers and rolled out of bed. Halsin took a breath to say something, anything to change her mind. It stuck in his throat at the flash of annoyance she showed him, a frown turning down the corners of her mouth. "Stop it. I have made my decision."
"Yes, Mistress." Halsin bowed his head, swallowing whatever he had been about to say, thankful for the last warning she had given him.
By the time he was done making the bed, Mistress was already gone. His breakfast had been left inside, a sign that he wasn't expected to wait for her. She didn't return for the rest of the day, nor in the evening. Halsin wasn't sure if she had already left on her travels or if she simply was busy.
He tried to keeping himself occupied, drawing out the meals and finding new books to read. No matter how hard he tried, he kept listening for Mistress to return, hoping that he might have another chance to ask her not to arrange for someone to take care of him. Whatever she exactly meant by it, Halsin wanted none of it.
By noon on the second day, he had given up on that hope. He still listened for the door, for footfalls on the stairs, but none of them belonged to Mistress. But he paid less attention to it than to the air in the apartment, scenting it like a deer alert to a wildfire. There was nothing unusual, only the smell of the books in the library and the potted plants on the balcony. Maybe a trace of the normal incense Mistress sometimes burned, nothing like the sweet cloying smell of the other kind.
It crept into the rooms in the middle of the night. Halsin woke to the air in the apartment heavy with it, arousal itching under his skin. He kicked away the blanket, taking hold of himself with shaking hands. The slight touch was enough to make him shiver, his cock twitching against his palm. Gritting his teeth, he pulled on the plug, half expecting it to cut him open, spilling blood on his hands. But it only slid out, a harmless piece of warm metal between his fingers.
Halsin wiped it clean and dropped it into its box on the nightstand. He curled up on his bedroll again, pulling the blanket over his head in an attempt to breathe in less of the incense. Sleep found him again like he had hoped, bringing him a few hours closer to Mistress' return, but he woke up with his cock maddeningly hard between his thighs. The brush of his underwear against his shaft sent a silvery bolt of need through him.
It wasn't quite as bad as last time. Without the cage, he managed to move around the apartment almost normally. The urge to touch himself lingered in his mind, twisted into everything he did to distract himself. And if he distracted himself too much, getting lost in a book or his own thoughts, his hand crept between his legs to tease himself.
He lasted a day before giving in to the urge to find a relief that he knew wouldn't last. Before he had even finished cleaning himself up, the arousal was back, writhing in his groin and demanding his attention. He refused it as long as he could, fleeing out on the balcony in an attempt to escape the incense. But even there the smell haunted him until he gave in to his need once more.
Footfalls on the stairs startled him out of a light doze, after days and nights of no real rest. He had lost count of how long Mistress had been away, the ever same light of the Underdark offering no hint and his own rhythm falling apart with nothing to occupy his time.
Throwing on clean clothes, Halsin scrambled out of the bedroom and into the main room. He came to a sudden stop at the sight of one of the house guards, a splash of fear dousing his arousal. It sank into his stomach and turned to dread, rooting him to the spot.
The guard took a step forward, holding out a sealed scroll. Behind him stood a woman, blindfolded and with her hands shackled in front of her. Pulling her forward by the chain on her collar, the guard made her kneel before thrusting the scroll at Halsin again, impatience clear in every gesture.
His heart beating loud in his own ears, Halsin took the scroll, seeing Mistress' seal on it. Without giving him time to open it, the guard pushed the chain into his hand as well, leaving Halsin holding both before turning to leave, his task fulfilled. The door fell shut, the noise waking Halsin out of his terrified paralysis.
He dropped the chain as if burned, kneeling in front of the woman. In front of Leandra. He hadn't recognised her in the moment, all his attention on the guard. Freeing her of the blindfold with shaking hands, Halsin saw the fear in her eyes before it turned to anger for a moment and then into a mask every bit as expressionless as Mistress'.
"Why am I here?" She bowed her head, her hands lying in her lap.
"I am so sorry—" Halsin knew that he couldn't refuse her or let her go. Maybe Mistress wouldn't take it out on him but she surely would punish Leandra for it. "Mistress arranged this, you're to—keep me company. While she is away. I didn't want this—"
"Company." Leandra looked up at him, showing him nothing. "Maybe you should read her message."
Mingled with the ever present smell of the incense, Leandra's scent came to him. The scent of her skin, the smell of lavender, clean linen. It all was much stronger than it should have been and much more appealing. Even as mortified and unnerved as he was, it drew him in, urged him to lean closer and breathe deeply.
Halsin moved away from her, still on his knees. He grabbed the scroll and broke the seal, catching the small key that tumbled out of the scroll in his hand.
I am sure you will enjoy her. She will do what you require of her. I do not want to come home to you in the same condition as last time, so don't be shy about it. I saw the way you looked at her, and you deserve a treat. Someone will come get her before I return. In the meantime she is yours.
"Let me take these off you." Holding up the key, Halsin bought himself some time while he unlocked the chains binding her wrists. It meant touching her, and even though he tried to be quick about it, it left him with her scent in his nose and on his tongue, his pulse beating hard in his own ears.
Leandra held out her hand for the scroll. He wanted to hide it, burn it, throw it away, but instead he gave it to her. She took it and Halsin flinched away when her fingers brushed against his. The touch lingered on his skin. He didn't trust himself to speak before retreating to a safe distance again, trying to clear his mind with a few deep breaths.
After reading it, she looked up at him with another flash of anger, there and gone again. Her expression softened the tiniest bit at the sight of him.
"Are you alright?" Leandra kept her distance, and Halsin was glad of it. He had thought he could get through this, no matter how sore and exhausted he already was. But her presence and the incense made for an intoxicating combination that clawed at his thoughts.
He wanted her. It would bring him the relief he couldn't find on his own. The mere thought of having her was enough to send a spike of hot lust through him. Halsin dug his nails into his palms in an effort to clear his mind. That wasn't him. He would never—
A hand on his arm made him gasp. He hadn't heard her move, too lost in his struggle to not let his most base urges win.
"What did she do to you?" Leandra had taken her hand off of him, to Halsin's relief, but she was right there, frowning at him. "What does she mean by, your condition?"
"It's the incense." Halsin sought for words, blushing furiously and inching away from Leandra so he didn't catch her scent with every breath. "It—takes away boundaries. Inhibitions."
"Oh. So that's why—is that going to happen to me as well?"
"I don't know. It might be just me. I'm sorry." Trying to come up with a plan, Halsin clutched at straws. "We don't have to—I can lock myself in. Stay on the balcony, it is not as present out there. I will not touch you."
"I think we have to." Leandra sat with her legs tucked under herself, her hands folded. She sounded frighteningly calm, as if she were explaining the obvious. "She might not have ordered you to have me, but we both know that this is what she wants. So we better give her what she wants."
"But—"
"Do you think you can lie to her? I don't think you can, and I'm not willing to risk it. If she's disappointed, she might whip you, but she will toss me to the spiders. You're her pet. I'm nothing." She shrugged, her voice still so very calm. "Aside from that, do you believe you'd be saving my innocence if you torture yourself? It's far too late for that. There's no way for you to save me this time, don't bother trying."
Halsin knew Leandra was right. Mistress had made it clear what was expected of him, and she had trapped him. Them. And he could see no way to escape.
"I should not have paid so much attention to you. I was—lonely. I did not mean to—"
"I'm sure you didn't. Stop apologising. It won't change anything." Pushing herself up, Leandra smoothed down her dress, looking around the room as if she had never seen it before. She held out her hand to him. "I'd rather have the first time before the incense affects me as well, if it does. Show me where."
There was no pity in her gaze, nor fear. But Halsin was afraid for both of them. He couldn't bring himself to move, no matter how much part of him wanted. The part that demanded he grab her and have her right here, the part that insisted she wanted it, she had said so, what else was he waiting for.
The only thing he could think of saying was another apology, and she was right: it changed nothing. So he took her hand and stood, acutely aware of how small she was. His hand swallowed hers completely, and she barely came up to his elbows.
The couch was the only option - he wasn't about to take her to bed even if he had dared use it, nor had he any wish to show her the bedroll he slept on when Mistress didn't want his company.
When he hesitated, Leandra gently pushed him forward until he was stretched out on his back, his tunic tossed onto the floor. She climbed up on the couch, straddling his thighs, and started to unlace his pants. Her fingers brushed his cock through the fabric, and it shook a moan out of him. Halsin was ravenous for more touches that were not his own. He raised his arms above his head and gripped the couch's armrest, at the same time shackling himself and offering himself up.
By the time she had undressed him and started to pull off her own dress, Halsin was shivering with need. He turned his head to the side, closing his eyes, unwilling to let her see how much he wanted her. As if proof of that wasn't obvious, his cock lying hard and flushed in the crook of his thigh.
"Look at me, please?" Leandra trailed the back of her fingers along his cheek, there and gone. She made no attempt to hide her own nakedness from him. "This isn't what either of us would have chosen. But since your Mistress made sure it would happen, we might as well make this as pleasant as we can?"
"I don't want to hurt you." Halsin barely got the words out, his voice toneless. He was struggling to hold on just letting her touch him, he didn't want to risk finding out what would happen when he touched her in turn.
"I don't think you will. I don't think you have it in you. She would like it if you did, I'm sure. She's drugged you to make it happen, and you still would rather suffer than seeing me hurt." Reaching out, Leandra took one of his hands. He let her place it on her waist, her own hand on top, her skin soft and warm under it. "We'll go slow."
Maybe he should have held out or protested more, but a fierce yearning for the kind of intimacy Leandra offered broke Halsin's resolve, much more than the blind lust of the incense. He pushed himself up until he was sitting with his arms around her in a loose hold. Leandra moved against him, laying her head against his chest and trailing her fingers down his back.
Part of Halsin still was urging him to move, to do something so he'd find the release he craved. He found it easier to resist with Leandra touching him so very gently and allowing him to bury his nose in her hair to breathe in the scent of lavender. When he finally dared to pet her in turn, he found scars scattered across her back and her thighs. He might have saved her from one whipping, but it would not have been her first.
Ever so slowly, their touches grew more intimate, their explorations more daring. Leandra raised herself up, one hand on his shoulder to keep her balance and the other lining his cock up with herself. She sank down on him in the most maddeningly unhurried way, her eyes closed and her body soft against Halsin's. He tipped his head up to watch her, holding her waist carefully and biting his lip to muffle his moans every time she took more of him until she was in his lap again.
"Lie down?" Leaning into him, Leandra nuzzled at his neck. Halsin did as she asked, and she followed him down until she was lying on his chest, rocking her hips back and forth. Her breath came in little gasps, a flush rising into her skin, her hair tickling Halsin's flank. He began to move with her, too caught up in the fragile moment to pay any heed to his lust demanding he go faster, take more.
Soon they had found a rhythm, Leandra bracing herself on Halsin's shoulder. Caressing her sides, Halsin let his hands wander down to her thighs and then up until his fingertips brushed across her stomach, petting the soft dark hairs leading further downwards. He watched her intently, waiting for any sign that he was doing something she didn't want; a frown or a flinch. But there were none, only her gasps turning into little moans and the flush darkening her cheeks under her freckles.
"May I? Touch you there?" Halsin had to catch his breath in the middle of his sentence when she canted her hips to meet him. It took her a moment to answer, her body tense before she made her decision.
"—yes." Taking his hand, she showed him exactly where, pressing down on herself much harder than he would have dared. He thrust up into her, seeking his own pleasure and letting her grind against his fingers.
Halsin forgot his fears over the sight of her: eyes half closed, her lip caught between her teeth, her hair falling into her face in strands that fluttered with every moan and every gasp. She leaned back, her body taut as a bow, sweat beading up on her skin, gleaming in the light.
Leandra gripped his hand and held it in place, her hips stuttering and losing their rhythm. She cried out, throwing her head back, her knees pressing into Halsin's sides. Riding out her pleasure, she clenched around him and it tumbled him over the edge after he had held on for so long. Bucking up into her, Halsin found the release he had wanted so badly, and this time, it lasted.
For a while.
Chapter 12
Chapter 1