In the Air Chapter 12
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"Have you ever tried to escape?"
Leandra's question startled Halsin out of a pleasant doze. They had tired themselves out, to a point where not even the still present incense could reach them. It had been very different from his night with Mistress and Tarlyn. There had been none of the desperation, none of the frantic need, not after the first time.
The second time, and the ones after that, had been more leisurely, more about slaking their thirst for companionship and intimacy. In between, they had lain together and talked in low voices, about everything they could think of that wasn't their daily lives. After a while, Halsin had let go of his fear of losing control in the face of Leandra's confidence that he wouldn't. Neither of them had wanted this, but neither of them could resist the chance to breathe and let their guard down. To almost forget for a short while where they were.
"Once. Just once." It had been not long after Mistress had brought him to her house. He had slowly been getting used to the facts of his imprisonment, and had started to learn what was expected of him and how to behave. And then she had brought Tarlyn. They had played with Halsin the whole night, and he had been afraid but at least he had known how to please Mistress.
There had never been a way to please Tarlyn. He had learned that a few days later when Tarlyn had come to visit him on his own for the first time. It had lasted for hours, and it had been worse than anything Tarlyn had done to him since. Halsin had feared for his life in every moment, the cold hatred in Tarlyn's eyes more terrifying by far than the acts he forced on Halsin, savouring his submission and quickly punishing any hesitation, be it ever so small. He had made Halsin scream and beg, he had made him cry, he had made him piss himself out of sheer terror, and none of it had made Tarlyn show the slightest mercy.
The night after that, Halsin had run. It had been the last time he had used his magic, and it had gotten him into the garden but not much further. The guards had beaten him and then whipped him while Mistress watched. Halsin had been sure he would be killed. But after a length of time in a dark cell he couldn't measure beyond how thirsty he was and how the pain from the whipping started to fade, Mistress had had him healed and brought to her once more. Halsin had been so grateful for the second chance that not even being chained to the floor next to her bed had made any difference to him. He had done whatever she wanted, and whatever Tarlyn wanted, not caring how painful or humiliating it might be.
"It did not go well." Halsin turned over on his side, letting one hand trail down Leandra's back and up again, tracing the lines of her spine and shoulder. "I had no plan, and I am lucky she did not simply have me killed. I have not tried since. I never saw a chance, and I do not think she would forgive a second attempt."
"She does like you. I've seen people killed for much less. I'm almost the only one still left of all the slaves who already worked in the kitchens when I was brought here. Maybe she likes me too. I'd rather not find out." Leandra had her head pillowed on her arms, arching her back with a pleased noise when Halsin started to lightly scritch between her shoulder blades.
"Have you ever tried? Running?"
"No. I might only be a kitchen maid who serves tea but the house is well guarded. I haven't seen a chance either. Yet." She rolled over to face him, pulling the blanket higher and running her hand down his chest, resting it on his side. "Maybe we should not talk about it. But the gods know I want to see the sun again. I don't want to die down here."
Halsin would have given anything to be able to tell her that she wouldn't. That he knew of a way for her to escape, for them both. But he had nothing to offer that wouldn't have been lies or flimsy reassurances, even if they were well meant. And she had made it very clear that she did not value those.
"I hope one day we will meet again under the open sky." He hugged her closer to himself, to comfort her and to soothe his own helplessness. She let him and nestled into him, her head under his chin. Halsin fell asleep with the scent of her hair hiding the incense, exhaustion pulling him under before he knew it.
He woke alone, the blanket carefully tucked around him. Sitting up, Halsin was afraid for a moment that Leandra was already gone, but he caught sight of her on the balcony, looking out over the gardens. He hastily pulled on his tunic and pants before following her out. There was no longer the cloying incense in the air, only the smell of the plants and the ever present scent of wet stone. It was a relief, and yet Halsin couldn't help a pang of regret.
"Good morning." Coming to stand beside her, Halsin leaned his arms on the balustrade, offering her a tentative smile.
"Good morning." She held out a plate of fruit to him, picking up a piece of pear herself. "I guess they'll be coming to get me soon. Listen to me: I would have liked for this not to have happened at all, but don't let her make you feel bad about anything we did. I'm sure she will try, but you never did something I did not want."
"Nor did you. I wish—I enjoyed being with you. It was the most normal I have felt since coming here." The weight of reality was looming over Halsin but he kept it at bay for a little longer. Leandra leaned into him ever so lightly, the fabric of her dress cool on Halsin's skin. She put her hand on his arm, looking up at him for a long moment before speaking.
"Some of the others, the ones who bring food up here and clean - they talk about you. They think you have it easy. Getting fed, not having to work, only one person who tells you what to do. I do not think that. You give away just as much as we all do to survive, only in different ways. Don't let her take it all. You've got to keep something for yourself."
"I will try." He rested his hand on top of hers, and she laced their fingers, holding on while they shared the rest of the food. Neither of them wanted to go inside, as if staying here would mean that time wouldn't pass.
It did anyway. Footfalls on the landing announced the guards. Leandra went to meet them, her head down and her hands clasped in front of herself. She didn't turn around to look at Halsin, but he stood and watched as the guards bound her hands and collared her, as if she had somewhere to run or was any danger to them. They ignored Halsin beyond making sure he kept his distance, and marched Leandra out of the door.
Once it had fallen shut, Halsin took a deep breath and then another one, trying to fill his lungs and failing. Turning away from the door, he busied himself with cleaning up the blankets and pillows they had left behind. He ignored how much his hands shook and how his heart ached until he was all done and had nothing else to do but sit, hugging the last of the pillows to himself.
Soon, Mistress would return and Halsin knew he had to prepare for that. She was sure to ask him about Leandra, and he didn't relish the thought of telling her what had happened, how soft and gentle they had been with each other and how they had talked. It was not what Mistress had wanted to happen. Even if she did not get angry with him about it, she would punish Leandra for it. And Halsin wanted to keep it to himself, something to remind him that he was more than Mistress' plaything.
He returned to his bedroll, curled up under the blanket and started to build a version of things that would please Mistress. He went over it again and again, letting it blend with the truth where it suited him and burying the rest.
"Did you enjoy the girl?"
Mistress was stretched out on the bed while Halsin spread scented oil on her back, kneading away all the knots and kinks from what had been a long and uncomfortable journey. She hadn't told him much, only that she had negotiated a pact with another house, but she very clearly was pleased with how it had gone.
She seemed just as pleased to see Halsin, feeding him choice morsels of her dinner and petting him as she described some of the plants and animals she had seen. When she had stood and stretched, he had suggested a massage and she had taken him up on it with a smile.
Kneeling behind her, Halsin was glad she couldn't see his face. No matter how prepared he had thought himself, the question had taken him by surprise. Fearing he had already hesitated too long with his answer, he found his voice.
"I would gladly have waited for you, Mistress. She—she did please me." He faltered, terrified by the prospect of lying to Mistress.
She rolled over on her side to look at him, propping herself up on one arm with her white hair pooling on the nightsky dark sheets. Her gaze was fixed on him, unwavering like a hunting dog that has caught sight of its prey. Halsin forced himself to stay quiet, hands on his thighs and head down.
"But? Did she do something to you?" Mistress sat up, coming to kneel in front of him. She made him raise his head to look at her with one finger under his chin, her gaze soft. "Did you hurt her?"
"No!" Halsin did not have to pretend his shock at the question. He let the fear rise back up, remembering how terrified he had been of doing just that. "I didn't. Hurt her. But she was scared. And I did not care. I made her—I took her anyway."
"She was yours to take. There is no need to worry yourself about it. She knew what was expected of her." Brushing a strand of hair behind his ear, Mistress leaned in for a kiss. She moved even closer, straddling Halsin's thigh and wrapping one arm around his shoulder for balance, her hand cupping the back of his neck. "My sweet pet, I wouldn't have thought you had it in you. Tell me about it."
Her mind touched his, as featherlight as the kiss she planted on his lips. Halsin let himself fall into the fantasy he had planned, carefully constructed to appeal to Mistress and to have the thrill of both fear and arousal for himself. He had gone over it so many times that it was vivid and familiar. Finding words to describe it was much harder but Mistress would expect that.
"She did not struggle, or refuse me. But she was so scared of me." Speaking was difficult, his tongue refusing to form the words, his head swimming. Mistress shushed him with another kiss, leaving the sweet taste of pomegranate behind.
"Show me. You do not need to talk." She plucked at his thoughts. With every touch, the fantasy grew more vibrant until it sang in his mind. The arousal it brought with it was tainted with shame and fear, making it only more potent. Under it all hummed Mistress' excitement, a steady beat that drove him on.
Leandra, on her back, her freckled skin pale against the deep red of the couch. She was watching Halsin with wide, fearful eyes, her fingers gripping the cushions. Both hands between her thighs, Halsin spread her legs, revealing her to his gaze. She took a breath that hitched in her throat, almost a sob. It should have been enough to make him pause if not back away, but the incense entangled his thoughts, urging him forward.
Another one of those almost sobs. He tasted her, first the faint salt of her thigh and then her musk. Her fingers ghosted over his arm, not daring to push at him, coming to rest on his shoulder in a silent plea. He ignored it, too taken with her taste and the heat inside her.
Crouched over her, Halsin made room for himself between her legs. He set himself against her and pushed in, spreading her open in a steady thrust. Holding his breath, he watched himself disappear into her, ignoring her small sounds of discomfort just as he ignored the hand on his chest. It was easy as long as he didn't really look at her, the lust clouding his mind, making him selfish.
Wrapping one arm around her shoulders to hold her in place, Halsin desperately sought the release that he hadn't been able to find for days. It was so close, yet stayed just out of his reach no matter how hard he trust into her, pulling her back on his cock, fucking her at a frantic pace that punched the air out of her lungs. She wrapped both legs around him, moving with him and begging him in a tiny breathless voice to please finish, please.
Fierce pleasure tore Halsin out of the fantasy, Mistress' hand stroking his cock even as his seed ran down his shaft. Her presence was gone from his thoughts, leaving him raw and brittle. She ground herself against his thigh, smearing it with her wetness, crying out softly as she found her peak.
Halsin gasped for breath, fighting the nausea that threatened to turn his stomach. He softened in Mistress' hand, no matter that she continued to tease him, rubbing her thumb across the head of his cock until he whimpered. Mistress leaned into him, and he wrapped his arms around her without thinking, holding her while she rode out her pleasure.
"You did enjoy her." Picking up a soft cloth from the nightstand, Mistress wiped herself clean and then did the same for him. "You were gentle enough with her, I am sure she's had much worse."
Mistress stretched out, waving for Halsin to join her. When he did, she pushed him over on his back, one leg tangled with his and her hand resting on his chest, idly tugging at the hairs. She leaned down to kiss him, her braid falling across his neck.
"Would you like to keep her? I can't always be here with you as much as I'd like to and I want to make sure you have your needs met. She obviously wouldn't live here, but you could have her brought to you when you wanted." She gave a soft laugh when Halsin had no answer for her, seemingly pleased by having rendered him speechless with the offer. "There's no need to decide just yet. Take your time."
"I—will. Thank you, Mistress." Halsin lay and let Mistress pet him, half expecting to have her presence sneak into his mind once more, to discover what he had hidden. But she merely nestled into him and sunk into her reverie, leaving him to try and find the best answer to her offer.
Chapter 13
Chapter 1