In the Air Chapter 17
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Mistress did not return the next day. They saw little of her over the next tenday, and she made no demands of them beyond sharing her bed at night when she did stay with them. She seemed pleased to note that Halsin no longer openly feared Keevon, although he took great care to behave with the same reverence and submission to them both when Mistress was present.
When they were alone, Halsin allowed himself to relax more and more. He could not have said if he did trust Keevon or if he simply was that starved for any kind of affection and being treated as an equal in the smallest ways.
It was easy to fall into a routine with Keevon when Mistress wasn't around. They spent their mornings together whenever Keevon had the time, and he made a point of eating dinner with Halsin. He also made a point out of telling Halsin how long he would be gone when he left. It made waiting for him to return much easier than it was with Mistress, who had a habit of staying away or coming back with no warning.
Ever so slowly, Halsin found himself revealing bits and pieces of his life to Keevon. He told him about training to become a druid, about his wish to see more of the world before settling down, even a little about his family, as much as he could before it grew too painful to remember.
Keevon offered his own tale of growing up in the Underdark and being chosen to become a consort, with little consideration as to what he would have liked. He told it like he did not mind being denied that choice, and Halsin did not press him.
"You have never seen the sun?" Halsin stared at Keevon, too shocked to hide his disbelief.
"Nor the moon." Keevon sat opposite Halsin, the table between them holding two mugs of tea and a dice game they had abandoned in favour of talking. He seemed to almost relish Halsin's reaction. "I never had the chance. It's not so unusual, especially for men."
"I cannot imagine." Locked up in the house, Halsin always longed to be outside, to move freely. And even when Mistress took him and gave him the run of the garden, the tons and tons of stone and earth separating him from the sun weighed on him. "Would you go, if you had the chance?"
"I think so, yes. It's a frightening thought, not just because I know well how the sunlanders feel about us. All that open space - I am not sure I would find it easy to adapt to, even for a short time. But I would like to see it." Keevon had picked up some of the dice, shaking them in his hand, and for a moment their soft clacking was the only sound in the room. "Do you miss it?"
"More than I can say." The answer came without hesitation, right from Halsin's heart with no time for his mind to advise caution. And with it came all the fear and sadness and anxiety he normally kept buried under the more pressing task of simply staying alive and navigating life as a prisoner. It swept him away in an avalanche of grief, and he could only thank Silvanus that it was Keevon sitting opposite him and not Mistress.
Pushing his chair back, Halsin stumbled to the window, his back to Keevon as he fought for his composure. He bit his tongue, tasting the salt of tears at the back of his throat and wiping them off his face.
"I'm sorry. It was a stupid question." Keevon was directly behind him, and Halsin had not heard him move. But he did not make Halsin turn around, did not even seem to expect an answer. He simply rubbed small circles on Halsin's back with his palm, giving him the time he needed to pull himself together.
All his misery a hot stone in his gut, Halsin sat on the windowseat. He didn't trust his legs to carry him even as far as the table, and the seat was in a small nook hidden from the main room. It seemed a safer place to him than anywhere else right now. And it felt strangely more safe when Keevon sat next to him, leaning ever so slightly into him.
"I don't know why I asked." Keevon kept his voice down and his eyes fixed on one of the shelves. "Maybe I was hoping for another answer than the one I knew you would give. It was not meant to cause you pain. And it will stay between us."
"You are the only person who ever asked." Rubbing his face with both hands, Halsin took a deep breath. He believed Keevon when he said he wouldn't tell anyone. He was tired of not being able to trust. "I would rather have you care even though it is painful for me. It is less painful than the silence I am expected to keep."
This was dangerous. If Mistress found out they were talking like this, Halsin did not think it would end in a mere whipping. But Keevon's honesty and concern were every bit as irresistible to him as his gentleness.
Keevon held his hand out, palm up, and Halsin took it. The firm squeeze of Keevon's fingers was comforting and seemed a silent promise that Halsin's secret was safe.
"There is something you should know." Keevon fidgeted, turning sideways on the seat to curl one leg under himself and carding a hand through his hair, leaving it a mess that he shook out of his face with an impatient gesture. "Lady Zesstra knows but she thought you would be better off ignorant of it. I disagree. Before I came here, I was offered a frankly impressive amount of gold and a way to freedom in exchange for killing you."
"Why did you not accept?" Halsin swallowed down his sudden fear. He knew he had made enemies, but knowing that and hearing it said were two different things.
"Because I am not a murderer. I wish that was the only reason, or the most important one." Keevon gave him a quick smile, one that did not reach his eyes at all. "I did think about it, since we are being honest here. But it was not worth it. Even if I had gone through with it, and if I had made it out of Lady Zesstra's reach, my family would have suffered for it. They are a small clan, nowhere as powerful as this house. And so, they are hostages to my good behaviour."
"Was is Tarlyn's family? When did you decide?" Not that any of that made a difference, but Halsin wanted to know. He mirrored Keevon's pose, their clasped hands resting on their legs between them, their secrets spoken into their shared space.
"Very probably. I cannot say for sure, they were careful about that. But having a favoured slave murdered, right in her own house, that is a bold strike against Lady Zesstra - but one she cannot go to war over. It was, after all, only a slave. Or that is what everyone would think. Almost everyone." Petting the back of Halsin's hand with his thumb, Keevon met Halsin's gaze. "I decided before coming here, and I told Lady Zesstra immediately. I thought about telling you as well, but I had to—get to know you a little better."
"Thank you for telling me." Halsin wondered if he should fear being poisoned, and once he had opened the door on that thought, he could think of oh so many ways someone might be able to kill him. "Do you think they will try again? Will they find someone else?"
"I don't think so. It's not worth it for the house guards, and definitely not for the servants. They can't move freely enough to get out of the house, and it would cost them their life. You can be sure that Lady Zesstra did not take this lightly. You are as safe here as any of us. Safer, probably - it's quite a risk for not much in return except sending a message. And it's been months now." Keevon made it sound believable. Since he had made a point of bringing it up against Mistress' wishes, Halsin did not think he would lie about the danger.
For long moments, neither of them spoke. Outside, the temple chimes rang out midday, or what passed for it here. Silence sank over the library after, and Halsin did not know what to say or do. How could he move on from this and go about the day as if nothing had happened.
But then, Keevon had only confirmed what Halsin had already known. Nothing had changed, except that he now knew for sure that Mistress was aware, protecting him as a member of her household. And Keevon was right: it was a risky thing to attempt, merely to kill a slave.
"Would you like some distraction?" Keevon's voice and a gentle squeeze of his hand interrupted Halsin's circling thoughts.
He nodded and found his voice on the second try. "Yes, please."
"Mistress has given permission that I can take you anywhere in the house and grounds. So we shall use that permission to go swimming. Or at least take a bath, if you don't know how to swim." Keevon stood, but had not let go of Halsin's hand yet, giving it an encouraging tug.
"Swimming? Where?" An invitation to go flying couldn't have been more of a surprise. Halsin had not seen any streams or pools big enough for it, not in the gardens. He would have begged Mistress to be allowed to use them if he had, for any chance to do more than walk around the apartment or garden.
"You'll see." Having finally coaxed Halsin into standing up, Keevon led the way out of the library, but came to a halt in the living room, turning to face Halsin. "There is one thing. You will have to wear a leash, until we are alone again. Lady Zesstra has ordered it, but even if she hadn't - it is better to not draw too much attention. I wish it were different."
"I do not mind." It was almost the truth. Getting leashed had become a mere fact of life for Halsin, and he believed Keevon when he said that it was not his preference. Keevon gave a nod and headed to the bedroom to get the leash, coming back with it curled around his hand. He had picked the slender chain, the one that was so light that Halsin barely noticed it.
"Do you want to do it yourself?" Holding it out, Keevon waited until Halsin had shaken his head. He stepped forward and lifted the collar to fit the leash to it. It was strangely intimate, Keevon being this close, fingers brushing Halsin's throat. Halsin kept his chin up to give him room, wishing Keevon was merely petting him.
"We will be taking the stairs that lead to the garden." Keevon moved back, the collar a little heavier around Halsin's neck. Reaching up, Halsin touched it and found that Keevon had opened it to slide it through a metal ring holding the leash. Now that it was closed once more, he could not find the spot where it came apart.
Stepping out of the apartment, they made their way downstairs. Halsin kept a step or two behind Keevon, the leash hanging slack between them. It had been a while since Mistress had taken him outside, and Halsin had to breathe through a moment of panic when two guards walked past them. But they only made bows to Keevon and ignored Halsin.
He never could resist looking up once they had made their way all the way to the ground floor, the stairwell rising high above his head, light filtering in through narrow windows. The stairs spiraled up in graceful arcs, supported by nothing but the magic imbued in the stone. They glowed softly from within, a cold light like that of the mushrooms.
"This way." Keevon pushed open a door Halsin had never paid much attention to. It lead to another, much more solid set of stairs. Picking up a spore lantern, Keevon handed a second one to Halsin. In their dancing light, they followed the steps further down, the air turning hot and humid. Halsin could hear the trickle of water long before they had reached the bottom and another door.
Behind it lay a cavern easily as big as Mistress' apartment. Most of it was taken up by a pool of clear water, slow currents stirring its surface and making it glitter in the glow of the tall mushrooms growing along its edge. Steam rose from the water, swirling in spirals in the draft created by opening the door. A small stream running out of the pool at the back of the cavern splashed over smooth stones, the only sound to be heard. The water had the scent of minerals, and the warm air brought out the smell of earth and moss, making Halsin feel right at home.
"You can put your clothes in here." Lifting the lid of a chest next to a stone bench, Keevon revealed some towels, a basket of oils and soaps and plenty of room for their clothes. He unclipped the leash from its ring, placing it in the chest before he started to undress.
Halsin was a little slower to follow, too busy looking around the cavern. There were a few more benches and tables hidden away under mushrooms or in nooks, big ferns growing tall over them. A set of flat steps led into the shallow part of the water. At the bottom, round stones had kindled into a blueish light, illuminating the depth and length of the pool.
All his clothes stored in the chest, Halsin tied his hair up in a messy bun and followed Keevon who was already waist deep in the water. He was thankful for the privacy Keevon allowed him, as much as he could, never giving Halsin the feeling that he was being watched or marvelled at like an animal performing a clever trick.
The water was wonderfully warm. Small waves lapped first at Halsin's legs, then his belly and his chest, created by Keevon swimming away from him in slow, powerful strokes. It had been so long since Halsin had had the chance to swim but his body remembered effortlessly, and he made his way across the pool in Keevon's wake. The water was completely clear, and he could see the swirls in the silt at the bottom where the water seeped up into the pool. Holding his breath, Halsin dove down to take a closer look, the current pushing against his fingers when he held his hand over the spot.
He came back to the surface, shaking the water out of his face and returning to swimming the length of the pool. After a few laps, he had to take a break to catch his breath, much sooner than he was used to. All the time without the chance to exercise had left him out of shape.
Keevon came to sit with him on the steps, the water reaching up to his chest. They both were flushed from the warmth of the water, but next to Keevon's dark grey skin, Halsin was pale as milk. He had completely lost the tan of a life spend outside, just as he had lost his stamina. And he hadn't noticed either until now. But he pushed that thought away, unwilling to have it spoil their time here.
"Thank you for taking me. It's good, being able to do more than walk around the garden." Even this morning, Halsin would have immediately tried to apologise, making clear just how much he appreciated being allowed time in the gardens, in case his words would be carried back to Mistress. But he and Keevon were keeping each other's secrets from her now, secrets that would surely send her into a rage if she found out.
"We can return here. I would like that. Maybe you can teach me how to dive." Keevon sat with his legs stretched out, gently kicking underwater, small eddies rising to the surface.
"You do not know how?"
"I know how. I simply can't bring myself to do it, not any more." Keevon's smile was a bright and brittle thing, there and gone in the blink of an eye. "It's a long story. Another time maybe."
"Another time. Whenever you want." Halsin touched Keevon's hand, covering it with his own. It prompted Keevon to lay his head against Halsin's shoulder, and Halsin kept very still. He had been offered vulnerability, and it turned the moment fragile and precious.
Trusting Keevon had gotten a little easier.
Chapter 18
Chapter 1