In the Air Chapter 2
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A dream of wandering the woods and napping in the sun slowly merged with the waking world, the warmth of the sun turning into the warmth of a shared bed. Halsin kept his eyes closed, trying to hold on to the dream for a little longer, but the aches and pains of his body pulled on his mind.
The memories of how he had behaved rose to the surface in painful clarity. Halsin shook his head in denial, cringing away from what he had done. But there was no escaping it. He was lying in his own mess, the sheets and his skin covered in his seed, itchy and dry. The smell of sex and sweat was thick in his nose and on his tongue, but something else was missing. Now that it was gone, he realised just how cloying the incense had been, tainting every breath.
Mistress was asleep and he couldn't leave the bed until she allowed it, no matter how much he wanted to wash it all off. Tarlyn had already left and Halsin thought about rolling over to that side of the bed, but Mistress was nestled into him, one hand on his chest. He lay still, trying to lose himself in reverie, or fall asleep again. Every time he almost managed, his mind presented him with another memory of how he had debased himself, begging for pleasure with his words and body, shameless and insatiable.
By the time Mistress stirred next to him, Halsin had been studying the ceiling in every detail, focusing on the lines and swirls of the patterns painted on it. She stretched and nuzzled at his neck, sleep warm and soft. He usually would have rolled over into her embrace, holding her while she woke up but he didn't dare, too conscious of how filthy he was. He made do with reaching over to caress her, drawing aimless figures on her skin.
Eventually she pushed herself up, rolling out of bed and grabbing her robe. She looked down at him with an expression he could not read—no smile but no frown either. It was the mask she wore in public, where every reaction might be used against her by her enemies. At first, she had worn it around Halsin as well but he had gotten used to being shown her true face. Seeing the mask back in place frightened him badly, sickening him to his stomach.
"Clean up the bed and yourself. Come see me when you are done." Without so much as another glace, she swept out of the bedroom, closing the door behind her.
Halsin fought the impulse to go after her and beg for forgiveness. He knew that would only result in more punishment. So he did as he was told, stripping the soiled sheets of the bed with shaking hands and choosing fresh ones from the linen closet. He dressed himself, taking a new tunic and pants with him as he hurried to the bathroom. There was no sign of Mistress, but he knew she liked spending the mornings on the balcony.
This time, he chose warm water, as hot as he could stand it. It washed away the sweat and spend and helped with the lingering ache in his muscles. Tarlyn had left bitemarks and bruises where he had grabbed him, much harder than he needed to. Halsin hissed when the water woke up the long scratches Mistress had drawn down his back and along his flanks, the skin red and puffy. His cock was tender and sensitive to the point of pain at the smallest touch, his balls swollen from Tarlyn squeezing and slapping them. He had delighted in seeing Halsin react with helpless lust even to that.
At least his thoughts were no longer muddled, and while he was tired and hungry, the constant urgent arousal was gone. Halsin didn't dare linger too long under the shower. As much as he dreaded what Mistress would do to him, waiting would only add to her anger.
Dressed in clean, soft clothes, Halsin walked out on the balcony on bare feet. Mistress was seated at a table, a bowl of fruit and a plate of delicately sliced raw fish in front of her. She was idly picking at it, gazing out over the gardens of glowing mushrooms and the silvery towers of the city. He allowed himself a moment of doing the same, wishing himself far away.
Halsin knelt at her feet, his hands on his thighs and his head bowed. There was no need to speak, Mistress would acknowledge him when she was ready. In the still air, the scent of the ripe fruit and the fish wafted to him and his stomach growled. He bent his head further, embarrassed by the reaction.
A slice of apple appeared in front of him, held in Mistress' slender fingers. He ate it out of her hand, and everything else she gave him. It was nowhere near enough to satisfy his hunger, but it did allay his fear. If she wished to punish him, he doubted she would bother to feed him.
"As much as I enjoyed you yesterday, I can't help but wonder what had gotten into you." A hand playing with one of the small braids in Halsin's hair, Mistress sounded intrigued. "You haven't been with us long, will it happen again? Is it normal for your kind? There's no need to be ashamed if it is so. A kind of heat, perhaps?"
"No!" Halsin was so taken aback by the question that he forgot himself and looked up at her. There was nothing but curiosity in her gaze. He immediately bowed his head again and breathed a sigh of relief when she continued to pet him. "No. Nothing like that. I—I don't know what happened. I have never acted like this before."
He hesitated, unwilling to push his luck, but it was the only thing he could think of to explain it. And it would be a weight off his mind to know for sure. So he gathered his courage and told her.
"Maybe it was the incense. It smelled differently from the kind you like to burn. I'm not familiar with it." It was not like he was a stranger to plants and fungi that gave visions or simply relaxed or stimulated the mind. But nothing had ever made him forget himself like this.
"We use it for cleansing. I have never heard of it having any particular effect, certainly not on drow but not on your kind either." She fed him another slice of apple, trailing her finger up and down his ear until he shivered. "It would be easy enough to find out. Would you like that?"
"Yes, Mistress." Halsin had never wanted anything less. He controlled so very little about his life here, and whatever had happened had taken even that control from him. The thought of it happening again frightened him. And what if the incense turned out to be as harmless as Mistress said it was? What if it would keep happening, every time Mistress left him on his own?
"We will make time for it. But not right now. Taking care of you exhausted me, as much as I enjoyed it." One finger under his chin, she lifted his head until he had no choice but to meet her eyes. Her smile was fond, no longer the neutral mask she had worn before. "Now, come with me. There's another thing I wish to talk to you about."
Halsin followed her, taking care to shorten his steps and leave some distance between them. Enough that he didn't loom over her, not so much that she would think he was dawdling.
Maybe she would forget. Her days were busy, ruling a house this big and powerful was no easy task. She would sometimes tell him about it, about negotiations and treatises, assassinations and intrigue.
Maybe she expected him to remind her if it should slip her mind. If that was so and he didn't, she was sure to punish him for not doing so.
He didn't have time to decide what to do. Mistress had led him to the living quarters and she stretched out on the couch, picking up a small lacquered box from the side table. Halsin knelt in front of her, taking the box when she offered it to him.
"I feel it is best to take some measures to aid you in controlling yourself. Something does need to be done about it. I am sure that with a little help, you will be able to withstand your urges better." She gestured at the box. "Go on, open it."
The lid swung back to reveal a slender silvery rod less than half the length of Halsin's little finger, a small bulge near the top. It ended in another bulge enclosing a ring, a green stone set into it. It weighed heavy for its size when he picked it up. He had seen Tarlyn and a few other consorts with a ring like this, on festival days when Mistress had taken him to celebrations. But he had never had the time or the presence of mind to look closely, too busy with enduring the pain inflicted on him in Lolth's honour and with pleasing Mistress. He had assumed they were piercings, not—this.
"Let me see you put it in. We need to make sure you can do this on your own." Mistress handed him a small vial of oil and a soft cloth. "Take your time."
Placing everything on the floor in front of himself, Halsin unlaced his pants. He fought to breathe slowly, his heart racing in his chest, every beat echoing in his ears. Part of him wanted to beg Mistress to not make him do this, promise her everything he could offer. But there was nothing he had that wasn't hers already, so he did the only thing he could and offered her his obedience.
His cock lay limp in his palm as he pulled his foreskin away from the head. Mistress reached down to pick up the rod, rolling it between her fingers after spilling a few drops of oil on them. She held it out to him, her steady gaze heavy on his skin.
Halsin's hands shook as he sought to carefully squeeze himself in such a way that his slit would allow the plug to fit. It felt tiny in his fingers and enormous against his hole. He almost dropped it when the tip found the right angle and opened him up, the pressure so intense it made him whimper.
"You mustn't be afraid." Mistress reached out to rest a hand on his arm, a featherlight touch that steadied him. "And in time, I'm sure you will get used to it. Now, go slow and don't hesitate."
She let another drop of oil run along the length of the plug. Halsin watched it as if hypnotised until it sat gleaming where the rod was spreading him open. The slightest bit of pressure slid the metal deeper inside of him. It left him panting, his muscles quivering with a rush of exhilaration. Another slow push and only the ring was left visible.
Halsin yelped when Mistress ran her finger around the head of his cock. She took him in hand and pushed his foreskin back into place, toying with the ring. He bit his tongue to keep from moaning at the way her touch jostled the plug.
Mistress reclined back on the couch, waiting until he had grown still, his thighs spread and hands resting on them. His cock pulsed around the plug in a not quite unpleasant manner. The stone glittered in the light of the candles scattered around the room, a dark green like the most vibrant moss on an old oak. Halsin found it hard to look away.
"It will serve as a reminder to keep yourself in check. I am aware how hard you try to fight all your unruly desires. It is not your fault. Nobody ever taught you how to properly do it. But I am sure you can learn, and this will help. You are permitted to take it out twice a day, at a moment of your choosing, and I trust you to put it back in as soon as you are done. Other than that, you will only remove it with my permission. Do you understand?"
"Yes, Mistress. Thank you." The tension faded from Halsin's muscles and his mind with the knowledge that Mistress had forgiven him for his behaviour. He would get used to wearing the plug for her. It was a small thing to do for her continued attention and affection. That she was willing to go to this much effort with him gave him hope, and he would try hard to show himself worthy. And maybe she would forget about the incense.
"Dress yourself. Go and get yourself something to eat, you must be hungry. And you may choose a book to take to the bedroom with you." She took his hand once he had tucked himself away, pulling him close for a kiss, the first one she had ever shared with him. It left him breathless and blushing, licking his lips to chase her taste of sweet pomegranate. For a moment, his knees threatened to buckle but he caught himself and straightened up. Mistress was watching him with a content smile curling her lips, her white hair spilling across cushions the same shade of dark red as her eyes.
"Now go. I need to attend to my duties and I can't have you around to distract me." She shooed him away, and Halsin hurried to the library to find his reward.
Chapter 3
Chapter 1